Day 36 (Spa Day)

Today is another beautiful day with a temperature of 68 and clear skies. I have been dreaming about breakfast and couldn’t wait to get down there. They put on quite a spread. They have 2 egg stations, waffles, pancakes, fruit, yogurt, meats and cheeses, desserts and any drink that you can think of. Plus the view is spectacular and is the same view that we have from our balcony. We are just 4 floors up. Lori slept in until 9am and I was up at 7am like a kid on Christmas morning. Afterwards we went to the front desk and extended our stay until Saturday when we will fly to Bari, Italy.

We scheduled some spa appointments for today. Lori had a facial and I had a deep tissue massage. Both were at 11:30am. We arrived at the Spa and they handed us robes, slippers and towels. We entered our respective locker rooms and came out ready to go. They asked us to have a seat and handed us a glass of vitamin water. The robes are one size fits all so mine was a little tight. Since I was nature boy status under my robe I was a little hesitant to sit down. I only made one attempt and knew that I shouldn’t. The robe split right open and fortunately there was no one standing in front of me. I decided to stand and wait for the masseuse. She was a small Thai lady so I knew this was not going to be the deep tissue that I hoped for.

We entered the room and she began to explain in broken English that I needed to wear underwear or the contents of this baggie that she laid on the seat in front of me. She instructed me to lay face down and she would be back shortly. Since I was free to the world I was forced to open the baggie. She must have given me the female baggie because there was a small paper string bikini in there. I’ve never wore one so I began to examine it. It had 2 pieces of cloth with strings linking them. It was a 50/50 shot as to which way would fit best. I pulled it on and found that I chose wrong. I felt pretty impressed with myself with the small side in front. Puzzled and running out of time before she opened the door, I switched it around and found that the larger loin cloth was better. The problem was that the back side left me embarrassingly exposed with a ride up feeling as if I just finished a 5k race. With no time left I jumped on the table and covered up. I was face down when I heard her enter. She rang a bell which reminded me of the start of a boxing match only a little quieter. Little did I know that I was going to be the victim of a Big Time Wresting Match. She jumped up on the table and straddled me. She began a commando crawl up my backside on her knees and forearms as if she was crawling under barbed wire. A breakfast of beans would not have been a good choice before this ordeal. I had many massages in my life but never like this. She began to contort me in ways that I have not been since I wrestled back in high school. It was still not pleasant. I recognized the many moves she laid on me but she never pinned me! When things like this happen I always think “this hurts now but it will be funny later”. It is the only way that I can get through times like these. This was a 75 min bout but by the end I could definitely tell a difference. She was a skilled, stiff muscle, assassin!

Afterwards the masseuse took me to the sauna and steam room area and showed me around. She started by showing me the showers and mini pools. One of the showers did not have a door and the other did. I was a little puzzled that she was showing me the area since we were opposite sexes and what if there were someone in there. Then she showed me the men’s and woman’s bathroom stalls. This is when it became clear that this was a unisex area. There were signs saying no clothes or bathing suits allowed in the saunas and steam rooms. I wonder if my butt floss counted? Ok, this could get interesting. I needed to shower after the massage so I chose the shower with the door. I am not much of an exhibishionist so I had to peak out of the door to look for other spa goers as my towel hook was on the opposite wall and out of reach. I ended up having the place to myself so there was no need to sport my physique.

I pocketed the g-string to show Lori what I had endured. Unfortunately I left it in the robe pocket and forgot to remove it. I pitched the robe in the laundry basket as I left the locker room forgetting the banana hammock was still in the pocket. Hopefully someone removes it before they wash the robe and hand it to someone else.

We met at the room and now have a neighbor. They are the type of people who talk on the phone like they are the only people around. I turned on the Apple Music in my phone to make a point and was met with Spanish music that drowned out my phone. Obviously the war was on. I turned mine up and Lori squashed me. Now I am forced to listen to annoying music with bad karaoke. So much for a relaxing day on our balcony!

Since I am not able to compete musically with the neighbors we decided to work in that swim in the Adriatic. I finally did it! The water was just like home, clear, cold and full of sea urchins. Maybe not the latter but they are sharp like our zebra muscles. They are easy to see so I just stayed away from them with no problems. There are a couple of swimming piers to jump off which was also fun. It was plenty deep. The water was flat with only waves from passing boats.

We headed back to the room and Lori headed down for her massage. I am curious if she has the same experience. We may have to head back early if she gets the same treatment as she just had back surgery in February.

She returned with a different experience from a different masseuse. She was very disappointed and described how the lady ran her forearm up and down her shin as if she was not familiar with the location of muscle tissue. I think we will give this another go of Friday which is the day before we leave for Italy.